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Hi guys, how are you doing? I keep myself inspired by the proximity of Mother’s Day, for this reason, I want to purpose a reflection about the pains and loves of being a mother; yes, because not everything is flowers. Educate a human being is not simple, demands a lot of dedication, a routine of questions, uncertainty, but, mainly, tenderness, and indescribable love. It already got to feel as the maternal life is ambiguous, is not it really?
A mother is being born
In February 2000 I prepared myself for the beginning of a new cycle of love. From that big belly would get out two new lives, and the mine would not be the same anymore. That’s it really, I had a twin’s couple, I was get blessed with a boy and a girl, two different universes, and, at the same time, complementary.
Everything was ready, the bedroom, the babies’ clothes, but internally I felt a whirlwind of contradictory emotions; fear of childbirth, happiness for babies coming, sadness for the loss of that belly, and the only certainty it is as soon as my children get out from me, they would be of the world, and not just mine.
I tried to calm myself down, asking God for health to watch over my little babies, wisdom to transmit respect, and love to others, to nature, and for life. The cycle was closing, and a new one would get started, a phase of unmeasurable love…A mother was born!
“Weaning” a mother
I had the privilege to be able to dedicate myself integrality to maternity until they were nine years old. It was a wonderful period, I accompanied plenty of my children’s development, the first steps, the first falls, I discovered that mother’s kiss is a “holy” medicine, and the laugh of them was the best world symphony.
After, my children started to go to school, and little by little, they were getting more independent, already want to sleep in a friend’s home, and I left to be the most important person in their world. One more cycle has started, they were discovering a new universe and I was getting back to work.
Of course, it was hard, we want children under the wings all the time, but protecting a lot is the same to make them incapable. The children need to be stimulated to autonomy to learn of dealing with life challenges. And we also need to take care of our independence, have our own dreams and projects.
To complicate, the world is full of “experts”, who are constantly teaching how we should grow our children, what is right or wrong, anyway, making maternity a sea of dilemmas and insecurities!
Children do not come with an instruction guide
As the babies do not come with an instruction guide, we get all the time walking on wobbly strings. We never know whether we are charging them in the right measure or flattering them a lot.
In my case that I have twin, I perceive that the world compares my children all the time like they had the obligation to be equals, but, in reality, they are completely different people. As a mother, I am the base, so I need to respect their individuality and give support for each one to follow his way. After all, my rule, as a mother, is to prepare them as better as possible.
“Lu, for God’s sake, how can we prepare the children for the world?”
This is the question of one million dollars! Is not that, guys? I guarantee if you do a research, it will appear dozens of different answers, because each person har his/her own values and a way to face the world if we listen to all suggestions, we will get crazy and frustrate ourselves.
I strive to pass to my children the character values and kind heart. I teach them they should always search for happiness, and the problems are inevitable, however, the way to face them is a choice. I orient my children to do the best of themselves, so that, just in this way the universe works in our favor. I transmit to them everything that I do believe, nothing more, nothing less. I think this is the better form to prepare them. It can be that you think different of me, but it is all right, there is no magic formula for raising our offspring, it is not like a cake recipe.
Did I do a good job?
Nowadays my children are 21 years old, study and live in other cities, they are starting their careers, anyway, taking care of their lives. I feel that I did a good job, I am proud to see the adults they have become themselves. I keep with eternal maternal dilemmas, I believe that this is one of the principal pains of being a mother, but this love cannot be measured, make everything worth it.
Tell me, do you either have many maternal dilemmas, or do you have immunity in this theme?
Have a happy and blessed Mother’s Day.
Kisses
